Thursday, October 16, 2008
My fave post..by Tasnim
This is taken from my classmate,a.k.a my lovely comey adik! (credit to http://www.bookwormbabbles.blogspot.com)
On today's world, well at least MY world, I am beginning to think that there is no such thing. Yesterday was a turning point in my varsity life when I found out that the people I considered to be my friends were the exact opposite. It took me three semesters in university to realize that all this while, I have been used like a mere tool and discarded when I'm no longer needed. It might still be acceptable if that was the only thing they did, but it goes beyond that. To explicitly explain what act of betrayal and envy that they did would indirectly expose their identities, and as a professional, diplomatic PR student, I shall remain discreet about what they did.
It is enough to say that what they did caused me to not be able to look at them with anything but contempt and regret. It has come to the point where being alone would be a better alternative than being around them.
Malays are said to have this feeling that will eat them from the inside out and will eventually destroy them. It is called "dengki". In English, it might be translated as envy, or jealousy, but no English word can describe what exactly "dengki" is. I have been a victim of this feeling and the actions that come from it, and I regret to say that they have proven how stereotypical Malay they actually are.
I'm not saying that all Malays are like this, because I did not believe it till yesterday. Now I believe it and I am still taking time off from socializing with them to heal from the wounds that they have inflicted upon my feelings.
Adding salt to the wound, this morning I was informed of something else that they had been saying behind my back, and I guess I can disclose this information online.
This group of people were grossed out by my physical appearance, or more specifically, my skin. I know I have eczema and the best way to describe it is that it is not comfortable, the skin is always dry and cracked. It is not funny. No, they did not make fun on me, but they expressed their disgust with the condition of my skin. I guess that struck deep, because I thought that all they learned about being non-discriminate was to accept a person for how they look and stuff. Obviously, these people are not as mature as they think they are.
I am disappointed with what is happening lately. Friends are turning on friends, housemates are turning on housemates. I thought that the older you get, the wiser you are. You become more accepting and you do not try to inflict psychological pain on another person.
The after effect of this incident?
Trust in mankind has dissipated from my system. I shall always be in a state of vigilance towards people I become close to.
However, there are people who I wasn't as close to before, who have come to my salvation and they were the ones who provided me with the bitter truth.
Budi, Mia, Najmi, Alia, and Wani.
Why is it that I can mention their names, but I refuse to disclose the other group's incriminating actions?
I believe that these people deserve to be known because right now, they are my personal heroes. If they hadn't told me what happened, I would still be in a state of ignorance towards what was happening around me. They enlightened me on how real friends should be, and unlike what I was thinking, I was not expecting too much from my so-called friends when I expect them to care more about my existence, and when I expect them to support me when I go for debates and interviews.
Budi remembers me even during the holidays and she invites me to every artistic event that she thinks I might like. I have an endearing term for her, I call her mommy. Coz other than the fact that she could easily pass off as a successful young mother, she was the one who was always there when I needed her, and she was the one who helped me with my Maybank scholarship stuff, and because of her help, I got an interview for the scholarship. For that, I am eternally grateful. For her being non-judgmental, I shall be forever grateful.
Alia is someone I can always turn to, she is the neutral voice who usually sees the situation from all angles and tells me what she thinks. She's a great confidante and I know I can always turn to her if I need someone to talk to. She's a great friend, and she can befriend anyone because she has no issues against anyone.
Wani is always carefree and she can be really bitchy when she wants to. She is especially bitchy when people bitch about her friends. Her defensive, strong attitude is what makes me adore her. Her carefree ways and the fact that she enjoys life even though people talk about her makes me admire her.
Mia is just adorable and sweet. She has now been appointed as my "kakak" and she's doing a great job so far. A great listener and loyal friend. Easily taken advantage of, especially financially, but it shows how trusting she is.
Najmi was in that group of people before he pulled himself out upon realizing how plastic and fake they are. Always wise and considerate, he is also a good person to talk to anytime. Not bad at cracking jokes either :P
Trust is something very fragile, and in my case, it is not easily achieved.
Now that it is lost, I don't believe it will return.
(to tasnim,.you will always be my adik,thx for all the love and friendship!!)
True friends. Or rather, the lack of them.
When one mentions the word "friend", people will usually think the obvious; someone you are close to, someone whom you can confide in, someone who will keep your secrets, and someone who will be loyal to you and correct you if you are wrong, and will support anything constructive you want to do.On today's world, well at least MY world, I am beginning to think that there is no such thing. Yesterday was a turning point in my varsity life when I found out that the people I considered to be my friends were the exact opposite. It took me three semesters in university to realize that all this while, I have been used like a mere tool and discarded when I'm no longer needed. It might still be acceptable if that was the only thing they did, but it goes beyond that. To explicitly explain what act of betrayal and envy that they did would indirectly expose their identities, and as a professional, diplomatic PR student, I shall remain discreet about what they did.
It is enough to say that what they did caused me to not be able to look at them with anything but contempt and regret. It has come to the point where being alone would be a better alternative than being around them.
Malays are said to have this feeling that will eat them from the inside out and will eventually destroy them. It is called "dengki". In English, it might be translated as envy, or jealousy, but no English word can describe what exactly "dengki" is. I have been a victim of this feeling and the actions that come from it, and I regret to say that they have proven how stereotypical Malay they actually are.
I'm not saying that all Malays are like this, because I did not believe it till yesterday. Now I believe it and I am still taking time off from socializing with them to heal from the wounds that they have inflicted upon my feelings.
Adding salt to the wound, this morning I was informed of something else that they had been saying behind my back, and I guess I can disclose this information online.
This group of people were grossed out by my physical appearance, or more specifically, my skin. I know I have eczema and the best way to describe it is that it is not comfortable, the skin is always dry and cracked. It is not funny. No, they did not make fun on me, but they expressed their disgust with the condition of my skin. I guess that struck deep, because I thought that all they learned about being non-discriminate was to accept a person for how they look and stuff. Obviously, these people are not as mature as they think they are.
I am disappointed with what is happening lately. Friends are turning on friends, housemates are turning on housemates. I thought that the older you get, the wiser you are. You become more accepting and you do not try to inflict psychological pain on another person.
The after effect of this incident?
Trust in mankind has dissipated from my system. I shall always be in a state of vigilance towards people I become close to.
However, there are people who I wasn't as close to before, who have come to my salvation and they were the ones who provided me with the bitter truth.
Budi, Mia, Najmi, Alia, and Wani.
Why is it that I can mention their names, but I refuse to disclose the other group's incriminating actions?
I believe that these people deserve to be known because right now, they are my personal heroes. If they hadn't told me what happened, I would still be in a state of ignorance towards what was happening around me. They enlightened me on how real friends should be, and unlike what I was thinking, I was not expecting too much from my so-called friends when I expect them to care more about my existence, and when I expect them to support me when I go for debates and interviews.
Budi remembers me even during the holidays and she invites me to every artistic event that she thinks I might like. I have an endearing term for her, I call her mommy. Coz other than the fact that she could easily pass off as a successful young mother, she was the one who was always there when I needed her, and she was the one who helped me with my Maybank scholarship stuff, and because of her help, I got an interview for the scholarship. For that, I am eternally grateful. For her being non-judgmental, I shall be forever grateful.
Alia is someone I can always turn to, she is the neutral voice who usually sees the situation from all angles and tells me what she thinks. She's a great confidante and I know I can always turn to her if I need someone to talk to. She's a great friend, and she can befriend anyone because she has no issues against anyone.
Wani is always carefree and she can be really bitchy when she wants to. She is especially bitchy when people bitch about her friends. Her defensive, strong attitude is what makes me adore her. Her carefree ways and the fact that she enjoys life even though people talk about her makes me admire her.
Mia is just adorable and sweet. She has now been appointed as my "kakak" and she's doing a great job so far. A great listener and loyal friend. Easily taken advantage of, especially financially, but it shows how trusting she is.
Najmi was in that group of people before he pulled himself out upon realizing how plastic and fake they are. Always wise and considerate, he is also a good person to talk to anytime. Not bad at cracking jokes either :P
Trust is something very fragile, and in my case, it is not easily achieved.
Now that it is lost, I don't believe it will return.
(to tasnim,.you will always be my adik,thx for all the love and friendship!!)
posted by Glorious at the Glimpse at 12:48 AM, | 
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